Salvation is here
Some Pictures of Mike and I's room. Note the atmosphere (thats a rare thing in these college dorms)
I have been thinking a lot about accepting Christ and what that means and what happens when you do it. I accepted him when I was 7 years old with my mother by my side to guide me. I can honestly say that I was NOT fully conscious of what I was doing at that moment. However, I have always felt I am a Christian and never doubted the fact that Christ lives in me and that I am constantly searching for him (even if I don't always call it that). These thoughts were never challenged in High School or around my UM church, where I grew up, but I have run into some people here at Asbury that think differently. A certain hall friend prayed with me after a moving chapel early last week. I felt called to go down front and pray, and with tears in my eyes I whole- heartedly walked down to the alter. The friend approached me and asked what was going on. I told him how I don't feel like there is very much love in my life- coming in or going out- and that I felt like I wasn't living up to my full potential in God. He immediately began telling me his story about how he grew up "Christian" but realized, apparently fairly recent, that he wasn't a Christian. He accepted Christ about 2 years ago and had his "moment". I don't feel like I've had that moment. I'll be honest. I have felt the obvious presence of the Holy Spirit in many situations and have found myself fervently asking God to reveal himself to me. But I can't really remember what I said in the car back in '93 when I accepted Christ. I am wondering about what it means to have a moment and if this is a biblical principle or a man-made idea; something we use as a measuring stick. Sometimes I feel like we live in a culture that heightens some testimonies and downplays others. Mine is relatively boring, as far as death to life stories go, and I can't remember a time when God was not in the back of my head guiding me. Sometimes I feel like I know sin and I know what I am saved from, but I don't really know what I am saved from, because I've never been "without" God. He's always been a guiding force. So lately I am questioning my salvation and being very open about it. Because I figure, hey, its my soul. I don't wanna keep these thoughts I've had to myself. I want to let people know how I feel, so I can make it right and get on advancing the kingdom (something else I need to learn how to do).
Does having "the moment" at 7 years old make it null and void?
Must I redo it?
What if sometimes I feel that I can never fully know absolute truth?
Am I a product of postmodernity, just unable to commit, or just not saved?
In love and honesty,
Wes
Ps. I hate the word postmodern now, but the sad truth is, we're in it.
posted by wes at 4:51 PM
6 Comments:
I love your room.
I'm always so inspired by your honesty and the fact that you spend time to ponder the thoughts that sometimes breeze through my head. I think I would have to agree with what Amelia said. In some ways it suprises me that you are "questioning" the validity of your "relationship" with Jesus. Wes, let me tell you that Jesus lives in you. I've seen him. Don't let yourself forget Honduras. You went with the Love of Jesus and he is the one that helped you through it. Whether your "moment" is measured with a stick or not you can see Jesus working in your life. There is something different about you...Jesus. Your journey is real. Embrace Jesus with security. Miss you Wes. Your amazing!
no wes if you dont have a moment you need to go to quest and get fixed. Keep asking questions man, i really love our inadvertent conversations about these things
the only word i hate more than "postmodern" is...
"relevant"
awesome post wes-- lets talk about it in face to face. i think really that there are a thousand moments-- and each one makes you question the one before. that's the marker of salvation i think.
i once had a kid in my youth group say to me, "You know, J.D., everytime God does something new in my life I wonder if I was even saved before." I think that's the perfect definition.
you are in an intense season of building altars-- stacking stones-- so I encourage you to fully claim that 7 year old moment with immense gratitude and at the same time to ask God for new defining moments. don't doubt it for one second. commemorate them by making altars and naming them. you are breaking into a new moment-- one that will be more defined by a season than a datebook.
i also encourage you to pray for the gift of the assurance of the Spirit. (Ro 8)
bless you for your honesty with this post.
you are the real deal.
Wes,
I love the title of this post.
In an interview with a French journalist, I read that when asked if having a relationship with Christ gave him all the answers in life, Bono responded by saying, "No, not by a longshot. Actually being a Christian gives me a whole new line of questions."
Your questions are valid ones. They are well formed and thoughtful.
I would encourage you to respect each leg of the journey. There is a long road ahead. You will experience Christ in many ways along your journey. Sometimes, he will be in disguise, and others he will be as plain as day. But because he is clearer now doesn't mean it wasn't him you encountered earlier in the journey.
Thank you for sharing your story with honesty and sincerity.
It is true, because we are in postmodernity, we hate the word. We are labled, and that is what an entire generation is trying to avoid. But I agree, it gets overused.
Still loving the title.
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